Somewhere along the way, I lost you It was a terrible feeling, one that allowed me to spend time in a scenario you previously lived. 

The hardest part to come by was the reality of you not wanting me sank in.

The reality that you weren’t afraid of losing me forever.

You weren’t afraid of letting me go. You were gone in an instant and my world felt shattered. 

But it really helped me see. 

It unshattered my view and belief of what I really wanted. What I wanted without you by my side. 

I realized that I could live without you, that I could breathe without you by my side. And it hurt to realize it, but the breathing was easier. 

Which showed me that having you by my side was something I preferred but didn’t need.  I wanted you more than anything in the world, but my world didn’t stop when you weren’t around. 

There was more clarity to my world without the worry of you coming and going. Or what would become of us. 

When the feeling of needing you was gone, after the grieving period, I realized I would always have a piece missing when you weren’t around, but that it was just a piece. 

I am bigger than that piece.

I dont need that piece to survive. 

I didn’t need you to survive. I just preferred it.